We’ve all heard the stories. A friend returns from Paris smitten with the city but completely turned off by the inhabitants. “They were so rude! Everywhere I went they were mean to me, and I’ll never go back! Paris was beautiful, though.”
Sound familiar? Ever think that it’s possible that it is sometimes us and not them? Read on.
Whenever someone relates a similar story to me, this is the first question I ask them: “When you walked into a shop, or a restaurant, did you greet the people inside with a friendly ‘bonjour’ or ‘bonsoir’?”
Invariably the answer is a bewildered “no”. I then explain to them that in France, shops and restaurants are treated as private spaces, rather than public, and it is considered rude to walk into an establishment without greeting the people inside (this information, by the way, is mentioned in every guidebook on France). When leaving it is also customary to say goodbye with an “au revoir” or, when appropriate, “bonsoir” or “bonnuit”.
Then I ask if they made an attempt to speak the language. “Oh no, French is too hard, and I heard that if you don’t speak it perfectly, they get mad at you.” Well, French is pretty hard for most of us. While I’d like to one day be fluent, I currently speak what I refer to as guidebook French. I carry a small Berlitz pocket phrasebook with me whenever I’m traveling. It has phonic spelling next to the words and phrases, which helps a great deal with the pronunciation. The French love the attempt, and those that speak our language will usually switch to English once they realize we aren’t fluent. On those few occasions that I’ve had my French corrected by native speakers, it was because they are proud of their language and were trying to help me to speak it properly.
Other Tips to Make the French Love You:
Speak softly. As a general rule, Americans tend to talk louder than Europeans (I’m guilty of this myself) and our sometimes boisterous behavior is seen as being intrusive.
Remind yourself that you aren’t at home. It absolutely amazes me that so many Americans expect things to run the same way that they do back in the states. After all, you’re visiting a different country, with a different culture. Make the most of it.
Remind yourself that you aren’t at home part two. Yes, they have McDonald’s in France. No, you should not eat there. French food is famous for a reason.
